Isn’t it amazing how many angles there are to view a problem or situation?
There are so many sides to a story and yet, we often believe in the ones that contain negative beliefs and values. It is much harder to see the good in the bad, the comfort in the discomfort. It’s way easier to say, “I have shit luck. Everything bad always happens to me.” Etcetera, etcetera.
My friend was going through a rough patch a couple months ago. One of his friends said something that made tons of sense. She was quoting someone, and I don’t remember who (please let me know if you do), so let me butcher this for a second:
Whatever you’re going through is a result of what you asked.
That’s hard to swallow. So your house burning down or your spouse cheating on you or one of your clients dropping you is a part of what you willed into the universe?
Forgive me for not saying it earlier but there is no right or wrong answer here. This relies entirely on how you perceive the events in your life—which is something that can be altered by your decisions. At the same time, yes, I am starting to believe that the obstacles we face is a part of what we asked, only because nothing is really given but rather earned.
If you want to succeed, you need to experience and overcome relentless failure.
If you want to love and be loved, you have to understand the pain of being heartbroken or lonely. (And you have to learn to love yourself first.)
If you want to turn your life around and change your habits, you have to go through the painstaking process of acknowledging your own hindrances and be willing to unlearn destructive behavior.
Life most definitely works in strange ways. The pattern is all too familiar in my life, the stories I read, and what my friends go through. One day I’m saying to myself, either during meditation or throughout the day, “Damn, I need more like-minded friends in my life. I want to help someone achieve their goals. I want to see if what I learned over the past few years is actually good stuff.”
Then boom. I meet someone via Twitter. We talk through emails. We get on the phone. Next you know, a few months later, I’m working with them on writing a book and starting a blog. One of my best friends, for example, tells me that he willed into the universe that he was ready to develop a relationship with a girl. He put it out there. What happens a few months later? He meets a girl.
It’s quite possible that what you’re currently going through, for good or ill, is a result of what you asked. You put it out there that you wanted to find peace or a better job or a partner in life, and then all these problems popped up out of nowhere. It’s a worthy endeavour to take these events and learn from them—start viewing these hindrances as something that is not done to you, but rather for you. For you to learn, grow, and get you one step closer to attaining what you desire.
But this is just a perspective. Someone else could be saying, “You can’t will anything into the universe. Bad things happen to good people all the time.” And that person may still succeed and still find love.
The challenge then, is, what mindset helps you lead a better life? What set of beliefs and values can you adopt in your mind that helps you move forward, instead of complaining or being blind to the opportunity that’s right in front of you to teach you what you need to learn?
Here’s a quote to think about when dealing with adversity:
So remember this principle when something threatens to cause you pain: the thing itself was no misfortune at all; to endure it and prevail is great good fortune. — Marcus Aurelius